Travellers’ tales: Britain’s longest bike ride

In Britain, almost two-thirds of us live fewer than 10 miles from the sea. Could you cycle all the way round this coastline? How far would that be? How long would it take? Could you do it all at once? Or maybe a bit at a time?

This is the story of an epic journey in sections. Two otherwise fairly sensible men – my cycling pal Steve and I – pedalled around the entire coastline of mainland Britain. Unlike younger and fitter cyclists, we’re far too old to do it all at once – average age 70 by the time we finished!

Instead, our wives waved us off each June for a fortnight or so. We tried to persuade them to follow us with a campervan to save money, but for some reason they declined.

In all we covered 5,000 miles in 80 days of cycling. As the crow flies, this is almost as far as London to Los Angeles – or like cycling from Madrid to Moscow and back again. Ours is the ninth-largest island in the world and probably has the wiggliest coastline.

Fuelled with cheese scones and carrot cake, we pedalled through wild country and urban jungles, deep forests and industrial wasteland, flat farmland and mountainous landscapes.

We tackled both Britain’s most spectacular hill climb and Britain’s worst road. We also got very tired but spent a lot of time laughing, mainly at each other.

Best laid plans …

These trips began with detailed planning which didn’t always work out in practice. There was some imperfect map-reading and confused route-finding. The carefully chosen kit felt heavy on the hills.

Cycling clockwise meant westerly winds behind us in the north, but in our faces along the south coast. We tried to keep close to the sea but had to miss out headlands and peninsulas to keep the daily mileage manageable.

Britain’s coastal history has many memories of heroism and tragedy at sea. Once-prosperous fishing villages and tourist resorts have declined through over-fishing and railway closures. The coast itself is always changing: silt deposits leave ancient ports high and dry, and erosion topples houses over cliff edges.

We set out from Carlisle, close to where we live, and wiggled our way round Dumfries and Galloway, Ayrshire and Argyll – not forgetting the Mull of Kintyre, where it was raining – before ending up on the horrible main road into Fort William.

In between trips we planned to keep cycling all year round, but our feeble attempts at winter training were often hampered by illness, injury and sheer idleness – as well as getting the bikes serviced, bad weather and any other excuses we could think of.

Great climbs and awful roads

The second trip took us north from Fort William, around the spectacular Scottish coastline via Ardnamurchan and the fearsome Applecross Pass – the most spectacular hill climb – and Britain’s worst road: the 11-mile stretch beyond the ferry to Cape Wrath.

We saw marvellous mountains, and battled fierce gales in Sutherland, before a quiet ride along the north coast into Thurso.

The following year, trip three took us all the way along the east coast of Scotland, from John o’ Groats to Inverness and Aberdeen and Edinburgh, and then on down to Newcastle.

This included a short section on the dreaded A9 trunk road, a wonderful off-road section on a disused railway, Scotland’s worst hotel (now under new ownership) and the three marvellous Forth bridges, before riding on our familiar Northumberland coast.

We followed this up with three days in Durham and Yorkshire, failing to reach the cut-off Spurn Head, and ending up in Hull.

Humber to Southend

Trip four was called Humber, Thames, Dover, Wight after the shipping forecast. Crossing the Humber Bridge, we struggled through our least-favourite Skegness and weaved our way round the coast towards Southend. The next day we got covered in mud on a track and had to jet-wash the bikes and each other!

This was the wettest trip and involved several tiny ferries before we reached Southampton. Steve was carrying too much kit, but we were both tired.

We risked taking two trips in the same year, heading back to Southampton in September for a long ride round all the west country and into Wales. We got lost in the New Forest, admired the beautiful Dorset coast, and found the steepest hills anywhere on the coast in Devon and Cornwall.

Land’s End was a horrible tourist trap, but we enjoyed riding along the canal towpath on the Somerset Space Walk. Crossing the Severn Bridge, we struggled with fatigue as we rode through industrial south Wales and into Cardiff.

Covid delays play

Only one more trip to go – or so we thought, until the Covid pandemic held us up for a couple of years. Finally we set off round the Welsh coast and across the Mersey. We found pretty villages and industrial wasteland, massive castles designed to subdue the Welsh, historic bridges and a stranded ferry.

A final short trip took us from Lancaster round Morecambe Bay, the west Cumbrian coastline and the Lake District mountains, back to the Solway Firth. And so on into Carlisle and the train home – after 5,000 miles around Britain’s wonderful coastline.

If we can do it, anyone can – given reasonable fitness, a decent bike and some free time. You can start at any railway station. You can do it one week at a time, though this will double your rail fares, unless you have a patient partner with a campervan.

You don’t have to be young and fit: you can be older and a little overweight and still cycle round Britain. Why not follow in our tyre tracks and ride your own journey round part of our wonderful coastline – or even all of it?

The full-length description of this 5,000-mile bike ride – together with tips on what to take on tour, the perfect touring bike, taking bikes on trains, and much more – can be found in Cycling Past Pluto: Slowly round Britain’s coastline (Troubador Publishing, 2025).

Why Cycling Past Pluto? You’ll have to read the book to find out!